1. COACH: What would you say to a glass of beer, Norm?
NORM : Going Down?



2. COACH: What would you say to a glass of beer, Norm?
NORM : Daddy wuvs you.



3. COACH: What's shaking, Norm?
NORM : All 4 cheeks and a couple of chins.



4. COACH: What'll it be, Normie?
NORM : Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froath of beer and a snorkel.



5. SAM : What'll you have, Norm?
NORM : Well I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll have a glass of whatever
comes of whatever comes out of that tap.
SAM : Oh, Looks like beer, Norm.
NORM : Call me Mister Lucky.



6. WOODY: Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
NORM : I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.



7. WOODY: Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost been nipping at your nose?
NORM : Yep. Now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?



8. COACH: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
NORM : No, I know what one looks like. Just pour me one.



9. COACH: How about a beer, Norm?
NORM : Hey I'm high on life, Cooach....Of course, beer is my life.



10. COACH: How's a beer sound, Norm?
NORM : I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.



11. COACH: What's going down, Normie?
NORM : My butt cheeks on that bar stool.



12. COACH: What's up, Norm?
NORM : Corners of my mouth, Coach.



13. COACH: Beer, Normie?
NORM : Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still
young.



14. COACH: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
NORM : With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.



15. COACH: What's up, Normie?
NORM : The tempurature under my collar, Coach.



16. COACH: What's up, Norm?
NORM : Everything that's supposed to be.



17. COACH: What's up, Normie?
NORM : My nipples, it's freezing out there.



18. SAM : What's new, Norm?
NORM : Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're
demanding beer.



19. SAM : What'd you like, Norm?
NORM : A reason to live. Gimme another beer.



20. SAM : What do you say, Norm?
NORM : Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer.



21. SAM : What do you say to a beer, Norm?
NORM : Hiya sailor. New in town?



22. SAM : What's the good word, Norm?
NORM : Plop, plop, fizz,fizz.



23. SAM : Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer...
NORM : Yeah, yeah, yeah....
SAM : One heartburn cocktail coming up.



24. SAM : How's life in the fast lane?
NORM : Dunno, I can't get on the on-ramp.



25. SAM : What's the story, Norm?
NORM : Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.



26. SAM : How about a beer, Norm?
NORM : That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard great things
about it.



27. SAM : How's life treating you, Norm?
NORM : It's not, Sammy, but you can.



28. SAM : Beer, Norm?
NORM : Have I gotten that predictable? Good.



29. SAM : Whatcha up to, Norm?
NORM : My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.



30. SAM : How's life treating you, Norm?
NORM : Like it caught me sleeping with his wife.



31. NORM : Afternoon everybody.
ALL : Norm!
CLIFF: Afternoon everybody.
ALL : [silence]



32. NORM : [come in from the rain] Evening everbody.
ALL : Norm!
SAM : Still pouring, Norm?
NORM : That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.



33. WOODY: Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : A little early isn't it?
WOODY: For a beer?
NORM : No, for a stupid question.



34. WOODY: What's the story, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to happy ending.



35. WOODY: How's it going, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : Poor.
WOODY: I'm sorry to hear that.
NORM : No, I mean pour.



36. WOODY: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : A sign flashing in my gut that says, "Insert beer here."



37. WOODY: What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer.



38. WOODY: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : Another layer for winter, Wood.



39. WOODY: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : Alright, but stop me at one.....make it one-thirty.



40. WOODY: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : The question is what's going in, Mr. Peterson? A beer please,
Woody.



41. WOODY: How's it going Mr. Peterson?
NORM : It's a dog eat dog world out there, Woody, and I'm wearing
milkbone underwear.



42. PAUL : Hey Norm, how's the world treating you?
NORM : Like a baby treats a diaper.



43. "Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."
Norm Peterson