A man asks his pharmacist for half of a Viagra pill. The doctor says that half a pill won't do any good, he needs two or three pills. The man explains, ''No, you see the reason I only want half a pill is because I'm tired of peeing on my shoes.''
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David Letterman "The real trouble started when we got the contestants mixed up for the dumb human tricks and the stupid pet tricks. They look so much alike."