10. Your request to fix leaky faucet has been sitting in congressional subcommittee for eleven years.

9. Tipper's Black Sabbath tribute band constantly rehearsing.

8. Insists security deposit be paid "in hugs."

7. You put Bush sticker on car, mysteriously electricity stops working.

6. Rent's a day late, Janet Reno orders break-in to take checkbook.

5. Endless stories about how he invented the mailbox.

4. Once a week you gotta clear out to make room for Bubba and some stewardesses.

3. Tipper showing up in negligee saying, "There are other ways to pay the rent."

2. Al showing up in negligee saying, "There are other ways to pay the rent."

1. House is always getting egged by George W. Bush.