10. "You're beautiful, and that's not just the Rogaine talking"

9. "I will shower you with gifts with the money I save not buying shampoo"

8. "Would you like to run your fingers through my head?"

7. "Your eyes are sparkling -- or maybe that's just the glare off my head"

6. "Yeah, that's right, I'm TV's Paul Shaffer"

5. "I don't have any paper, but you can write your phone number on my forehead"

4. "Close your eyes and pretend I'm Dick Cheney"

3. "Wanna go back to my place and see my hairpiece?"

2. "There are two things missing from my life: healthy hair follicle growth and you"

1. "Wanna buff me?"