10. Your date's hairstyle is best described as early Barbara Bush

9. You're slow-dancing next to your science teacher and his dressed up lab skeleton

8. It's scheduled for Tuesday at 10:00 AM

7. Not only is D.J. playing Bryan Adams, D.J. is Bryan Adams

6. Instead of ice, punch bowl is chilled by the frozen head of Ted Williams

5. Principal interrupts festivities with a short film on Scientology

4. The janitor is mixing the punch with his wrench

3. Prom giveaway is a handful of last week's sloppy joe meat

2. It's chaperoned by Whitney Houston

1. The prom queen is named "Glenn"