10. Wakes up, rolls over and says, "Damn, you're still here?"

9. She's just hired a pool boy...you don't have a pool

8. You call her "Honey," she calls you "Numb Nuts"

7. You overhear your wife on the phone saying,, "How much to kill my husband?"

6. You come home to find her handling the UPS guy's package

5. You've started sleeping in separate beds, in separate houses, in separate time zones

4. You're so unhappy together that the only thing that cheers you up is seeing the hilarious new movie "The Break-Up," now playing at a theater near you

3. You look back at the drunken, bottle-throwing fights as "the good times"

2. At your backyard barbecue she refers to your best friend as "Lover"......I mean "Larry"

1. Keeps asking, "Why can't you be more like Vince Vaughn?"