10. Does it come with penicillin?

9. Will it make my wife more whorey?

8. Is it really made out of super-strong polymers developed by NASA?

7. Is the "Please take a number" device included?

6. Which famous slut's bed does 'Consumer Reports' recommend buying?

5. Does sleeping on this bed qualify me to be a Greek shipping heir?

4. Can it comfortably sleep five?

3. Do I need the undercoating?

2. Can I just pay her to break in my current bed?

1. Why is Regis' name carved into the headboard?