10. The strippers are on their way!

9. Hey Clinton, tax this!

8. Drinking root beer makes you live longer.

7. If you look under your seat, you'll find a nice, fresh grape.

6. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome "Gilligan" himself, Mr. Bob Denver.

5. Every member of tonight's studio audience receives a free tattoo of Katharine Hepburn.

4. We've just learned that Madonna will not appear naked for the remainder of the calendar year.

3. Siskel and Ebert are getting married!

2. Fat guy slaps Richard Simmons so hard he's now cross-eyed.

1. The show's over. Good night!