10. Sitting through an entire XFL game

9. Spelling "Kryzyzewski"

8. The slowly disappearing throat lozenge

7. The backwards-aging magician thanks to plastic surgery

6. Levitating "little David," if you know what I mean

5. The tweed sport coat that still smells like grandpa

4. Explaining how "Spy Kids" is the number one movie in the country

3. Getting really baked and making entire box of Twinkies disappear

2. Making relationship with Claudia Schiffer disappear

1. Pulling Siegfried out of Roy