10. "Hey Hasselhoff, go easy on the crab puffs"

9. "I asked Diana Ross to pass the butter and she slapped me"

8. "What exactly is Liza famous for?"

7. "This is so much fun! She should get married more often"

6. "Michael Douglas? I thought you were Mickey Rooney"

5. "Phyllis Diller looks so lifelike"

4. "What do you mean you're out of prime rib?! I'm Robert Goulet, damn it!"

3. "I did check again, Mr. Letterman. Your name is not on the guest list"

2. "Hi, Liza, I'm Bill Clinton. Could we maybe get together later?"

1. "No Miss Taylor, you're not getting married today"