10. "My mind was clouded by the anabolic steroids"

9. "Damn Al-Qaeda"

8. "I may be a strong guy, but those bats is heavy"

7. "I wanted to catch the premiere of 'American Juniors' -- man, those kids can sing!"

6. "Hans Blix checked my bat for three months without finding any cork"

5. "Wanted to do something to take the heat off my girlfriend, Martha Stewart"

4. "Threat of rain necessitated a more buoyant bat"

3. "If you hit home runs you get paid $20 million a year, dumb ass"

2. "I was Punk'd"

1. "Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't do it"