10. "How much longer do I have to drink this stuff before I start getting tan?"

9. "Can I substitute your sunblock for pina colada mix?"

8. "Hey, my initials are SPF - - isn't that nuts?"

7. "Can you send someone over to oil me down?"

6. "Do you sell moonblock?"

5. "Hey mad dog - - shouldn't Barry Bonds pack it up and go on home already?"

4. "Does it work on kitties?"

3. "Is David Copperfield there?"

2. "This is Larry King - - can you do my back?"

1. "How about phone-sex three-way with you and the butterball hotline?"