10. Hey, Rush--that pot roast is for everybody!

9. Why does everybody keep referring to this place as 'Newt Hampshire'?

8. Screw the election--let's go see that Brady Bunch movie!

7. Run for your lives! It's Eisenhower!

6. Once, I seen Dave Letterman open a ham using nothin' but a taxi cab!

5. We've all had it--Oprah just announced her candidacy!

4. Forget the issues--what do you boys think about O.J.?

3. Gerald Ford and George Bush just went to the golf course to kill a couple of spectators

2. My dream ticket in '96? Kemp and Gump!

1. Hey, Senator Dole--the Ito beard really works!