10. At this year's Super Bowl, you lost $10,000 on the Buffalo Bills

9. Whenever you meet someone, you put a coin in his mouth and start yanking on his arm

8. You're wearin' green felt underpants

7. When you order at Wendy's you say, "I'd like to double down on some of them Biggie Fries

6. You just can't tear yourself away from the slots (VT of Mulibur)

5. You've got fifty bucks that says Judge Ito will wear a pink robe tomorrow

4. When they pass around the collection plate at church, you ask, "What kind of odds am I getting?"

3. After sex, you tell your wife, "Okay, double or nothing."

2. You're putting it all on Letterman for Best Supporting Actor

1. You owe Pete Rose money