10. My trousers are full of chowder.
Ladder 17, Lieutenant Mike Walsh
9. We're only here for the beer.
Ladder 16, Thomas Blake
8. I'm going to Worcester to buy a toaster, you bastard!
Engine 53, Kevin Hoer
7. Last night I went to `Cheers' and the bartender didn't know my name, so I broke his jaw.
Ladder 29, Eddie Monroe
6. Letterman parked his car in Harvard Yard after doing 120 MPH on the Mass Pike.
Ladder 4, Kevin McCarthy
5. I had an affair with that old guy from Pepperidge Farm.
Engine 48, Troy Osgood
4. `The Bar' is wicked bizarre.
Engine 10, Barbara Marrotta
3. Clark the aardvark went to the park after dark and drank Cutty Sark.
Ladder 24, Sean Ingram
2. Clark the aardvark went to the park after dark and drank Cutty Sark with Marky Mark.
Engine 33, Pat Ellis
1. Don't believe Madonna -- I'm the baby's father.
Rescue 2, Richard Besse
From "The Late Show with David Letterman", 11/01/1996