10. People say, "Merry Christmas!" Before giving you the finger. 9. Instead of yellow tape, cops close off murder scenes with festiveholly. 8. People pray even when they're not in the back seat of a cab. 7. If you dial 911 you just hear a recording of Deck the Halls. 6. Slight increase in number of fat bearded guys who want you to siton theirlap. 5. Gullible tourists purchase Rockefeller Center Christmas tree for$1 4. Vendors cut price of hot dogs left over from last Christmas. 3. Police investigate the season's first sleigh-jacking. 2. Strangers greet each other with "I got your Yule log right here." 1. Two words: Crack nog.
From "The Late Show with David Letterman", 12/19/1997 |