10. Pluto rides the Monorail all day bugging people for change.

9. Dumbo the elephant now thinner than Ally BcBeal.

8. They can't even afford to buy pants for Donald Duck.

7. Huey -- dead, Louie -- dead, Dewey -- rehab.

6. To earn a few extra bucks, Minnie has been "interning" in the Hall of Presidents.

5. Now paying Korean animators $1.75 an hour instead of $1.85.

4. Rumors are they may have to sell Florida.

3. Scrooge McDuck received government-arranged bailout after his hedge fund collapsed.

2. They smashed Walt with a sledgehammer and sold him as party ice.

1. M-I-C-K-E-Y B-R-O-K-E.