10. 1st Place, 1947 Indianapolis Ugly Baby Competition

9. Conscientious Rewinder Award, Blockbuster Video

8. 1993 "So Long, Sucker" Medal from NBC

7. Miss Teen Indiana, 1968

6. "Best Klingon Costume," 1993 Star Trek convention

5. Member, Hellmann's Mayonnaise "1,000 Gallon Club"

4. 1989 Charles Bronson prize for Excellence in Vigilanteism

3. 1968 Heisman Trophy Award buyer

2. Connecticut State Police "Biggest Crybaby" award

1. Luckiest man in show business -- 1980-1998