10. Goes around telling children that Santa's not real.

9. All the eggs seem to be hidden in dingy Irish pubs.

8. Says to one of the kids, "Tug my tail again and you're on a milk carton."

7. Created the "Melissa" computer virus.

6. Recently walked in on his wife and the Energizer Bunny.

5. Dyes Easter eggs by throwing them in the washing machine with his colored load.

4. Threw a drink in Hef's face at the Playboy Mansion.

3. Demands sponsors pay expenses of his ex-hooker girlfriend Tiffany.

2. Those ain't licorice jelly beans.

1. He's been chain-smoking the green plastic grass.