10. "What do you give the man who's had everyone?"

9. "That guy gets an awful lot of action for someone named 'Hugh'"

8. "Is that clown making balloon animals out of condoms?"

7. "Oh, gee, another silk robe -- you shouldn't have"

6. "Somebody oughta tell Miss June she's wasting her time on that Teletubby"

5. "Someone come quick, the President's stuck in the grotto!"

4. "Kelsey Grammer says the punch bowl is empty again"

3. "I'm sorry, Pontiff, your name's not on the guest list"

2. "What a great gift -- monogrammed Viagra!"

1. "I'm only here for the articles"