10. "Don't forget, tomorrow's the day we bleach the tigers."

9. "Hi Siegfried, it's Roy -- or wait, am I Siegfried? Either way, call me."

8. "I was just watching a documentary about tigers and it sorta made me think of you."

7. "I'm still combing your damn sequins out of my hair."

6. "Want to go to Hooters and pretend to look at chicks?"

5. "Come quick... Crazed bengal... Losing blood..."

4. "Don't kid yourself -- I can always find another sexually-ambiguous, freaky looking, German magician/animal trainer."

3. "I just had a terrible realization -- we're ridiculous."

2. "Got any shaving cream? I'm doing my chest and I ran out."

1. "Dr. Carlson says it's time for our yearly face-tightening."