10. At 11:58 the host announces, "I gotta get up early. Everybody out."

9. You're pretty sure good champagne doesn't come in individual juice boxes

8. Because of poorly designed invitation you end up at Pat Buchanan's party

7. The guy playing Baby New Year in a diaper actually wears one year-round

6. To save money on noisemakers, at midnight host punches you in the gut

5. It's at Puff Daddy's place and no one gets shot!

4. Paper hats are made from health department warning of high mercury levels in the building

3. It's July 31st

2. Host says, "Wanna see the ball drop?" but there ain't no TV

1. The best-looking woman at the party is Katherine Harris