10. Remove protective padding from underside of desk

9. Tell post office where to forward the subpoenas

8. Get gravy stains out of the Constitution

7. Take down all the photos of him and Hillary pretending to be in love

6. Pass new law: every time phrase "George W. Bush" appears in a document, Congress has to add word "sucks"

5. Pack "World's Greatest Impeached Dad" mug

4. Unchain despondent Al Gore from White House desk

3. Change name to George W. Bush -- get ready for four more years of grab-ass

2. Take Air Force One over Ken Starr's house, empty the lavatory tank

1. Shred like a hyperactive monkey