10. You notice little shampoo bottles from Baghdad Hilton

9. She comes home reeking of Swedish meatballs

8. Parakeet's cage is lined with documents on Iraq's nuclear weapons program

7. Hears about Hans Blix meeting with Condoleeza Rice, she mutters, "Bitch"

6. She has "U.N Approved" tattooed on her ass

5. Always gets her hair done whenever the general assembly is in session

4. It's a good bet, considering she had affairs with every other chief U.N. weapons inspector

3. She complains about your unilateral decisions when renting a movie

2. She's on the phone: from the next room you hear the words, "...threesome" and "Kofi Annan"

1. Your kids look sort of Blixy