10. The Washington, D.C. TJ Maxx has sold out of pantsuits.

9. She's practicing sitting around doing nothing.

8. Instead of pretending to be from New York, she's pretending to be from key battleground states Ohio, Florida and Michigan.

7. Bragged to reporters the next "Hillary-Gate" is going to be off the hizzook.

6. Says she wants to be the first female Vice President since Gore.

5. Just purchased a large amount of Halliburton stock.

4. Called Century 21 to ask about listings for undisclosed locations.

3. Well, there's the "Kerry/Clinton" tattoo.

2. Firing up the ol' paper shredder.

1. If it would help she'd have sex with Bill.