10. I can wear any crap and suddenly it's "in style."

9. Never again have to go on one of those pageants where you're hit on by Donald Trump.

8. All the chaw a girl can stomach.

7. I'm third in line after Bush and Cheney.

6. Instead of walking down the runway, I get to use a conveyor belt.

5. Finally drunk, annoying, cheesy guys will start hitting on me.

4. Nice to be on a reality show without having to deal with that British twit.

3. Guess who's the new leader of Iraq?!

2. Hopefully you get to meet Jay Leno.

1. Now that I won I'm gonna sit my ass on the couch and eat Ruffles.