10. Everybody expects you to be able to make crazy stuff out of pine cones.

9. When people ask for your favorite stuffing recipe, they get mad when you hand them a box of Stove Top.

8. If someone says, "It;s a good thing" to me one more time I'm gonna break his leg.

7. Every day at my house it's subpoenas, subpoenas, subpoenas.

6. Seeing my name plastered over all that cheap K-mart junk.

5. Everybody thinks you should smell like lilac.

4. I once got a $12,000 bill for tarragon.

3. People keep asking me if I've shivved my first snitch yet.

2. When it comes to making oatmeal raisin cookies, the bar is set pretty high.

1. The drunken 4 am calls from Letterman.