10. "It's so hot the Statue of Liberty is holding a slurpee

9. "It's so hot mob informants look forward to getting dumped in the river"

8. "It's so hot people are coming to the Ed Sullivan Theater just for the air conditioning"

7. "It's so hot distoriented cab drivers are obeying traffic laws"

6. "It's so hot the cops are randomly searching bags for Gatorade"

5. "It's so hot I'm actually excited about hockey"

4. "It's so hot Trump's new catchphrase is, 'You're sweating!'"

3. "It's so hot the rats jumped out of Rupert's chili and into his gazpacho"

2. "It's so hot delivery guys are riding camels"

1. "It's so hot hookers are offering discounts to Mr. Softee"