10. "Another two weeks of wearing a cup and showering with guys"

9. "Get to visit exotic, far-off destinations like Illinois"

8. "More time to discuss with team doctor if Cialis is right for me"

7. "With the discount, beer is only 18 bucks"

6. "It's fine and all, but the good news is, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico"

5. "Certificate good for one free groin pull"

4. "I get to appear on my favorite Late Night program---'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'"

3. "World Series MVP gets to throw switch at Saddam's execution"

2. "Clemens used his AARP card to get us cheap hotel rooms"

1. "If Steinbrenner wants me next year, my price is now a billion dollars"