10. "Fully loaded Tex-Mex fixins bar at every cabinet meeting"

9. "Use wacky sound effects for weekly radio addresses"

8. "Replace Oval Office bust of Theodore Roosevelt with bust of Kenny Rogers"

7. "Remind him it's only 6 weeks until 'The Dukes of Hazzard' comes out on DVD"

6. "Talk to him about things he holds dear: Health, Family, Shady Halliburton Contracts"

5. "Speechwriters sprinkle in the occasional 'You might be a redneck if...' joke"

4. "Two words: Free Gum"

3. "Get Air Force One pimped"

2. "Suprise him with invasion plans for every country on Earth"

1. "Remind him in a few years, Iraq will be Hillary's mess"