10. "Before eating chicken, soak it in Lysol"

9. "Don't lick unfamiliar pigeons"

8. "Frighten birds by constantly meowing"

7. "Stay away from basketball great Larry Bird"

6. "Anti-bacterial smoothies"

5. "Move to a place where there are no birds, like the moon"

4. "Avoid birds that look like they're up to something"

3. "Go back to the old Y2K bunker, start drinking"

2. "Fill birdfeeder with Sucrets"

1. "If you have a chicken, check for swelling in the McNuggets"