10. "Thousands of New Yorkers urinating in the street - - Typical Sunday"

9. "Only 25 miles to go"

8. "Wait, I could have taken a bridge from Staten Island to Brooklyn?"

7. "These wooden shoes were funny the first half-mile"

6. "Is that the finish line or crime scene tape?"

5. "Bus exhaust make daddy dizzy"

4. "Instead of carbs, I loaded up on Cool Ranch Doritos"

3. "Hello, Triple A? I'm at mile 23 and I need a tow"

2. "Help...Heart...Gonna...splode"

1. "Taxi!"