10. "One soda, bag of chips - - $49.99"

9. "If you're here for the Al-Qaeda meeting, it's in the back"

8. "You ever done it in a grocer's freezer?"

7. "If the slurpee tastes like feet, that's me"

6. "What, no 'Penthouse' today Romeo?"

5. "You got a minute to talk about Scientology?"

4. I'm charging you an extra buck 'cuz you're ugly"

3. "The sexual tension between us is palpable"

2. "Remember me? I'm disgraced ex-FEMA head Michael Brown"

1. "Want a footlong? I bet you do"