10. "Damn, Al-Queda"

9. "Am I that hungover?"

8. "Wish I'd thought of an exit strategy"

7. "It was easier to get out of the national guard"

6. "Hey, at least I didn't throw up like daddy"

5. "I just heard Oprah's going on Letterman"

4. "I know how to solve this problem - - tax cuts for the rich"

3. "I hope this doesn't hurt my chances of getting reelected"

2. "I need another five week vacation"

1. "Talk to Condi about invading China"