10. "Seems to work late whenever the circus is in town"

9. "Can't turn on CNN without seeing her dangling from Empire State Building"

8. "There are several enormous footprints next to the hot tub"

7. "Your American Express bill shows 2,000 dollar charge from Chiquita"

6. "Complains you never pick her up and hold her in the palm of your hand"

5. "Was riveted by Dr. Phil episode "I'm In Love With A Giant Monkey"

4. "You notice a hair on her sweater and it's eight feet long"

3. "She's legally changed her name to Connie Kong"

2. "Your baby is a dead ringer for Chewbacca"

1. "The house smells chimpy"