10. "Cocktails with my Scientology pals"

9. "Tuning in CBS at 11:30 to see my favorite talk show host: Regis Philbin"

8. "Doing what everyone else in America is doing - - sweating"

7. "Updating my blog"

6. "Telling my grandchildren about the days when gas only cost $3 a gallon"

5. "Waxing the Buick with Dave's old hairpieces"

4. "Scratch-off lottery tickets"

3. "Enjoying the simple pleasure of looking younger than my son"

2. "Wasting time doing this"

1. "Actually, Dave, my birthday was yesterday"