10. You have a desk, but no chair.

9. Co-workers always punching you in the stomach.

8. You see CBS Chairman Larry Tisch having dinner with Conan O'Brien.

7. You get stung by a bee (not really a sign your new job isn't working out, but just as upsetting).

6. You work for NASA and your title is "Executive in Charge of Space Probe Quality Control."

5. After work, you go nuts and throw firecrackers into a crowd of people.

4. Your company physical is scheduled with Dr. Jack Kevorkian.

3. People start saying maybe they should have elected your wife Hillary president.

2. In your one-page performance report, the word "sucks" appears twelve times.

1. Your office nickname: "Deadwood."