10. Always asking if you brought a clip 9. Whenever he leaves, he says, "I'll be right back." 8. Invites you over for dinner and when you get there tells you that you've been bumped 7. At his cookout, "Who wants hamburgers?" is written out on a cue card. 6. When you ask him to return your lawn mower, he has a list of 10 reasons why he doesn't have to. 5. No particular sign--just a statistical likelihood that if you're not a talk show host, your neighbor is. 4. Ed McMahon mows the lawn. 3. He chases squirrels around the yard with a microphone, screaming "Is the caller there?" 2. During the summer, he gains an awful lot of weight. 1. Five words: applause sign in the bedroom.
From "The Late Show with David Letterman", 09/21/1993 |