10. At big public ceremonies, secret service guys play keep-away with your hat.

9. People see you at the self-serve pump filling up your Pacer.

8. Sharp drop in sales of "Yeltsersizer" workout machine

7. Stolichnaya withdraws its corporate sponsorship of your presidency.

6. You misspell "potato," and no one cares.

5. Your mother asks if you want to move back in for awhile.

4. Ted Koppel cuts your interview short for a late-breaking story on the "Full House" twins.

3. You're denied access to the presidential hookers.

2. Domino's doesn't deliver your pizza for almost an hour, still makes you pay.

1. Chicks no longer dig you.