10. Ketchup-flavored lip-gloss

9. On special occasions, have the Marine band play Fleetwood Mac hits.

8. Air Force One Mile High Club

7. Give him pep talks: "Compared to you, Lincoln was just a monkey in a top hat."

6. Lean close, put you mouth to his ear and whisper, "Bubbaaaaaaa."

5. Spend plenty of time inside the beltway, if you know what I mean.

4. Take him away for a quiet weekend of taxing and spending.

3. Every once in awhile, let him run the country.

2. Add a little spice in the bedroom by dressing up as a McDonald's waitress.

1. Two words: fry everything