10. You can't think of anything else on your date except strangling Chuck Woolery.

9. He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.

8. His multiple personalities begin arguing after dinner about splitting the check.

7. You find yourself spending an inordinate amount of time lifting his head out of the soup.

6. He's been on "Geraldo" three times.

5. After two beers, he starts calling you "mommy."

4. All she wants to talk about is how much she loves working for her boss, Heidi Fleiss.

3. Every place you suggest for dinner, he says "Nah--there might be cops there."

2. Insists that she was a virgin, but you know she was married to Sean Penn

1. He takes you to a Mets game.