10. Say things like, "Hey it's one o'clock in the afternoon. Why the hell are you still in your robe?!"

9. Eat Exhibit A

8. Switch gavel with grand piano, sit back and watch him try to pick up a grand piano

7. Whenever there's a quiet moment during a case, groan "BOOOOOORING"

6. When he sentences you to life in prison, just yell "screw off", leave the courtroom, and go have a nice afternoon at the movies

5. Shortsheet his robe

4. Keep asking, "Where's Rusty?"

3. He says, "approach the bench." You say "approach this!"

2. Ask him to find a legal precedent that exempts talk show hosts from all posted speed on the Hutchinson River Parkway

1. Release the robe chiggers