10. Buys jumbo sack of Slim-Jims at supermarket--instead of paying jacked-up prices at 7-Eleven

9. Unlike Bill, never gets head caught in sink

8. Avoid them "runway haircuts"

7. Never orders more fries than she can eat

6. Let's Bill call himself "The President" when they're out in public

5. Technically just a hillbilly by marriage

4. Chelsea has yet to say "Daddy can you help me with my homework"

3. Took her three hours to explain to Bill how it's possible that Murray from "Mary Tyler Moore" looks just like Captain Stubing from "The Love Boat"(shot of Gavin Macleod in audience with model coming out)

2. Owns a piece of Oprah

1. Her giant 30 pound brain