10. Just keeps repeating over and over again, "I'm sleepy."

9. Months after inauguration, still hasn't shown up at city hall

8. Campaign slogan: "What's in it for me?"

7. When confronted with a crisis, you overhear him mumble, "What would Norm on 'Cheers' do?"

6. His date for his inauguration is Heidi Fleiss.

5. During acceptance speech, addresses voters as "suckers"

4. Last name: "McCheese"

3. Within hours after his inauguration, all water and electricity are shut off.

2. The day after election day he wakes up naked on the Staten Island Ferry.

1. Raises taxes: Lowers pants