10. Might get to check out one last big busted stripper before you die 9. Tough questions from audience good warm up for judgment day 8. The show's make-up and hair people send you off looking damn good. 7. If the electric chair doesn't kill you, Phil's cologne will! 6. Unlike with Oprah, you don't have to worry about Phil stealin' your last meal. 5. If some guy in the audience starts yelling at you, you can go ahead and kill him -- I mean, what have you got to lose? 4. The kids who picked on you in high school will be really jealous when they see you on TV. 3. His big, fluffy, white hair will remind you of the clouds in heaven. 2. Get to make some last minute endorsement cash by announcing that after you die you're going to Disneyworld 1. Don't have to watch the second half of the show
From "The Late Show with David Letterman", 06/15/1994 |