10. No dress code

9. We've invented this cool holiday where all we do is blow up stuff.

8. Even a really, really dumb guy can host a talk show.

7. Guess what nation drank the most root beer last year? France? Think again, buddy!

6. Barney can beat the crap out of Mr. Blobby.

5. You can go to any Gap and try on as many pants as you want.

4. In other countries, you have to choose between breakfast and lunch. In America, we've got a little something called "brunch."

3. Even a swollen-faced hillbilly can become president.

2. We're on the cutting edge of Thighmaster technology

1. Life, liberty, and Oprah