10. Three words: shirtless cabinet meetings

9. Reagan found wandering around east wing wearing Santa suit

8. Guys from Pentagon install 465 million dollar bug zapper.

7. Mike Dukakis shows up at front gate with his lawnmower.

6. Wherever Ted Kennedy goes, he leaves a sluglike trail of sweat.

5. Bob Dole nearly killed by "mysterious" falling air conditioner

4. Roger spends day drinking case of Bud Light, trying to pronounce "Galazkiewicz."

3. Hillary helps Chelsea make $100,000 selling lemonade.

2. President constantly asking Hillary to rub suntan lotion on his pasty white thighs

1. Gore is panting like a beagle.