10. Cattle futures for everybody

9. Quick fling with Bob Barker

8. Go on "Larry King Live" and snap that guy's suspenders so hard his toupee falls off.

7. Get out there and fix potholes like the Mayor of New York does.

6. Take a long ride in white Bronco.

5. Grow a giant beard like ZZ Top -- them guys is superstars!

4. Call Rush Limbaugh while he's on the air and say, "Can it, fat boy."

3. Call for Congressional hearings to get to the bottom of this Michael Jackson-Lisa Marie Presley thing.

2. Did somebody say "Wonderbra?"

1. Fire Bill.