10. Every 10th caller to 911 wins a pair of Metallica tickets 9. $10 million reward to anyone who knows where the hell Al Gore is 8. Five day waiting period to buy a congressman 7. If you yell 'Bingo' when you don't really got bingo you're going away for a long, long time 6. The first lady has the right to remain silent 5. Bob Dole to be executed on "Donahue" 4. Every time someone in America gets arrested, the President gets to eat a french fry 3. No speed limit on Merritt Parkway for late night talk show hosts 2. If you even so much as jaywalk, Bubba's gonna play a Singapore-style drum roll on your ass 1. All that Whitewater crap? It's legal
From "The Late Show with David Letterman", 08/17/1994 |