10. Every time a lawyer objects, F. Lee Bailey must remove an article of clothing

9. Forget the jury and just settle the damn thing with a "Hard Copy" Viewers' Poll

8. Cut week-long "going away" parties for dismissed jurors

7. Put Judge Ito in a Batman suit, sit back, and watch my man Lance do some justice!

6. Leave the glove-modeling to Cindy Freakin' Crawford

5. Bring in Wapner--that dude can handle two whole cases in half an hour!

4. Limit prosecution to one massive screw-up per day

3. Threaten jury by saying, "If you don't come up with a verdict soon, we're gonna send you on a Carnival Cruise"

2. Submit into evidence a photo of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie doin' it

1. Eliminate happy hour